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In Memory of a Great Brother

February 2006 Anniversary

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A Day For Love...

 

Oh, Valentine’s day ~ the day for sweethearts and love. I’m writing this month’s email a little early because as I was driving into work today I was thinking about Valentine’s day and the fact that I got my husband nothing, zero, zilch, nada. Course, he didn’t get me anything either, so I think it’s probably a wash.

I am part of a grieving board group of ladies and one of them commented that Valentine’s should be a holiday of more than just love for your husband or significant other, it should be a day to remember all those we love. Those who are here with us and those who are gone from our lives. As I was thinking about that comment, I remembered the last Valentine’s with Nate. Normally it would not be a big deal, but that day was the last time I saw my brother alive and well. My sister had a playoff hockey game and we all came home to watch it.

Before that game, Nate and I had our last conversation. Nothing profound. He was mad at his girlfriend and I was upset with my husband. What those fights were about I don’t remember. But I do know Nate wanted to give his girlfriend a swift kick in the rear for a Valentine’s present and I nodded with him as I think my feelings were the same regarding my husband! I won’t forget the laughter we shared as we compared our similar life experiences that day.

Later that night at the game I remember thinking to myself: our whole family is here. As many of you know, that doesn’t happen very often when kids grow and go their separate ways. Sometimes it’s almost impossible to get everyone together at the same time. As I looked up at my brothers, they were taking turns holding my son while he slept...just like I had held them so many years ago. That picture will never leave my memory.

I believe we all have moments like this in life. I never thought about the day my brothers would be who my children looked up to. Just like they had leaned on me when they were growing up, now it was reversed.

That day didn’t seem special. And if I would have known that two weeks later it would all be gone, I would have enjoyed it more. But that’s how life goes. Most things are never appreciated until they are gone.

So today, I think my friend is right. Valentine’s day isn’t just a day to tell my husband I love him, but a day to say to my family and friends, I love you and thanks for your support. I wouldn’t be pursuing this writing if it wasn’t for your encouragement. And I wouldn’t be able to travel this long journey without your help.

I’m pretty sure my brother and sister feel the same. I might not hear the words out of their mouths, but my sister never passes up a chance to babysit my kids for FREE and my brother let’s my daughter jump all over him and doesn’t complain. A day of love should be just that: a day to celebrate our love for our family and friends, not just a significant other.(well, at least that’s what I’m telling my husband since all he got for Valentine’s Day was Chinese food for supper!)

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